The Butcherhouse Chronicles

A Long, Overly Complicated Way to Turn a Page

2012-01-14T22:24:00.000-05:00

Guns N' Roses to be Inducted in the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame in 2012

2011-12-07T14:36:00.000-05:00

I may be the last remaining GNR-defender on the internet -- and as such, it is my duty to by psyched by the news that GNR is getting inducted into the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame in their first fucking year of eligibility!!!

Rolling Stone coverage here.

Yes, the idea of the "Rock & Roll Hall of Fame" is inherently silly. Who gets in and who doesn't is ultimately meaningless because it's bloody rock & roll and nobody really gives a shit, aside from the excuse to argue over who didn't get in every year. Still, it produces a concert every year that can be pretty cool. And it forces long-disbanded bands to wring their hands over the decision to possibly reunite to accept the honor. If Axl and Slash were to reunite for this thing, I'm fairly certain the world would end just as the Mayans predicted.

Farm Warfare

2011-11-30T20:39:00.002-05:00

it's a god-awful small affair

2011-10-24T20:38:00.000-04:00

The death throes of October. Hello, curious wanderer.

Small update that, somehow, wasn't reported on Reuters. I've switched agencies. From Paradigm to APA.

Andrew J. Wilson (of Prolific Entertainment) is still my manager. Chris Ridenhour (my former manager at Prolific) is my new agent. They are good people and I'm fortunate that they're my representatives.

I realize that it seems like forever but things are happening. You have to trust me.

September Lands Hard

2011-09-01T22:21:00.000-04:00

September already. Let's quietly consider all the things I'd wanted to have accomplished by this point in the year, and then sigh. A deep, profound, posture-altering sigh.

Autumn slouches forth before we are ready. Not a sweet, romantic autumn. Something more urgent.

I mailed a play out to be considered for a theater company out west. A play I wrote about 5 years ago. It's funny how much 5 years can change a person. I revisit That Play and recall all the things that tore at me at that period in my life. It's funny how the nature of your concerns can change over 5 years.

The remainder of the year only gets tougher.

Do It Yourself

2011-08-07T05:37:00.001-04:00

The Magical World of Cadavers

2011-07-25T23:24:00.000-04:00

It's out there right now. My CADAVERS script. Floating about Hollywood. The producers are going through the process of attaching a director and some actors before we set it up at a studio. And so, once again, as always, as ever, The Never-Ending Waiting Game.

Not that I'm just staring at the ceiling. (Well, to be honest, that *IS* a large part of my creative process.) There are two other projects I'm pursuing, at different stages. I'd mention them but I'm trying to avoid the j-i-n-x. You pursue this career long enough, you learn not to get your hopes up prematurely about anything.

And yet, July is sinking into the ocean and there is so much I need to happen for me this year. I try not to dwell on it, focus on the work. But at the same time... I really am counting on a lot of things happening.

Fragments

2011-06-30T22:19:00.000-04:00

I find that I use more sentence fragments in screenplays than I do in stage plays. It's the bloody font and format and the way sentences break in screenplays. I'm more inclined to chop down a sentence in a screenplay to save myself an extra line or two because there's a higher premium on pages.

The consequence being, the dialogue in my screenplays feels a little different than the dialogue in my plays. And I'm always trying to strike some balance there. Dialogue just has more room to breath and find its own rhythm in a stage play.

Are you motherfuckers ready for the new shit?

2011-06-26T02:02:00.000-04:00

All right, kids. We're nearly there now. My adrenalized, modern spin on a Frankenstein story. Short-circuiting millions of years of evolution and rewriting genesis.

Just trying to comb through this draft extra carefully right now. What a quiet, isolated Saturday spent with this script. We've got to earn the right to attend all tomorrow's parties.

Alimation

2011-06-01T20:59:00.000-04:00

Alimation from Alexandre DUBOSC on Vimeo.

Splendid. Thank you, Alison.

June begins...

Wouldn't You Like to Get Away?

2011-05-31T12:00:00.000-04:00

May leaves too early. Have I mentioned that I'm really quite close to something? I am perpetually very close to something. So I won't say it. But you know the score.

Unicornhole

2011-04-19T22:44:00.002-04:00

"Unicornhole" \\\\//////// from dax norman on Vimeo.

Unicornhole is an animated Public Service Announcement by Dax Norman and Lucas Dimick, with musical score by CMOR.

DAX: http://daxnorman.com

Lucas Dimick: http://lwdimick.com/

CMOR: http://soundcloud.com/cmor

I'm Not Dead (yet)

2011-03-28T21:28:00.000-04:00

The deal (with myself) is I post at least one entry a month on this little-viewed blog. And, as I often do, I'm cutting it close.

I'm trying to finish another draft of something by this Friday. Where does the time go?

April. I despise April. If I ever have a daughter, I will never name her April because it inspires dread. It's the deadline for taxes which is such a pain in the ass. Particularly during lean years.

Next few months are going to be critical.

2011-02-14T00:00:00.002-05:00

The Ending's Just Too Hard to Take

2011-01-29T20:07:00.001-05:00

January 2011, gone too soon...

Waiting on script feedback is always a pill.

On one hand, you're afforded a blessed break from the damn thing.

On the other hand, notes are never fun. It's homework. It's always hard to tell how much homework it's going to be.

Occasionally it can be immediately helpful in taking the script to the mythical "next level". More often, it involves the need to rip out the guts of a lot of what you liked.

Alas, it is what it is. And none of it matters until it's actually being shot.

And so... February is when we get our hands bloody...

Turn Up the Lights in Here, Baby

2010-12-31T00:15:00.017-05:00

One last shot at 2010, shall we?

Two new original scripts in the bag. I need to polish them up before we unleash them, but I feel good about them.

2011 is the new hope for humanity. Jesus, when did I start this blog? It is brutal out there, kids. But we've shifted strategy in the past year and I do believe 2011 is when things should start paying off.

And if it doesn't? I go on a murder spree.

So, really, win-win for the entertainment industry, yeah?

If you're drinking, don't drive tonight. Make safe choices, America.

Promises

2010-12-24T10:12:00.000-05:00

How Can Anyone Defend This?

2010-12-14T09:03:00.001-05:00

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart

Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c

Lame-as-F@#k Congress

www.thedailyshow.com

Daily Show Full Episodes

Political Humor & Satire Blog</a>

The Daily Show on Facebook

Post-Thanksgiving Cleanse

2010-11-29T22:55:00.001-05:00

Can't let November go without posting an obligatory entry here, can we? Where does all this time go...?

I've been busy working on the new pet project in my writing dungeon. I confess, I'd wanted to have a completed draft done by Thanksgiving but the world got a little busier than I'd anticipated. And I'm not explicitly on the clock with this sucker, so I've been taking a little more time with it. I don't believe that anyone *actively* reads this blog so all of these entries are more for posterity. All the future generations trying to trace the path of my madness.

Meeting with my new management team Thursday morning—here in New York City of all places! At least I don't have to rent a car.

Is it really December this week? Did we lose a few months this year?

Well, I won't argue with the calendar. We're going to get some things done with the remainder of this year. Promise.

Under New Management

2010-10-05T13:59:00.002-04:00

New management company, same managers. We're making a move.

I've Seen Sunny Days That I Thought Would Never End

2010-09-23T20:05:00.001-04:00

Hello, whoever you are.

Honestly, who are you and how have you stumbled upon this quiet forgotten little spec of the internet...?

If you're curious about my recent trip to Lost Angeles, you can CLICK THROUGH HERE (TIP: scroll down and read the entries upward, chronologically).

I am back in NYC, plotting the next stages of world domination.

Even throughout the leanest stretches, I endeavor to update this blog at least once a month. Less for the regulars (there's no need for regulars here) and more for the sake of an archive.

You see, Dear Reader, one day you will know my name. One day, you will know what I am capable of.

Not today. Probably not tomorrow. Possibly the day after tomorrow (but I wouldn't lay money on that if I were you). But ONE DAY, this will be a vibrant blog that I will feel compelled to update on a more regular basis because people very much like you will be far more curious about what I'm working on.

For now (said sadly) this place is just an extended tease. The vague promise of things to come.

A vague but emphatic promise.

Check back here.

Ready or Not, Here I Come, You Can't Hide

2010-08-28T23:45:00.001-04:00

Los Angeles, September 1-9. 2010.

It's a trip that's been put off for far too long.

I'm going to get something done.

(Oblique enough for you?)

More information soon.

Full Disclosure

2010-07-20T01:38:00.004-04:00

Screenwriter David Steinberg was invited last fall by a producer to pitch his idea for a rewrite of a "high-concept comedy" about an adult slacker for a major studio.

Steinberg figured he had a good shot at the assignment with credits like "American Pie 2" under his belt, even though he heard there were many other writers competing for the opening.

After an initial meeting, the producer asked him to prepare a more detailed proposal, known as a "beat sheet," outlining each scene and character. Steinberg reworked four drafts of his pitch and met with other producers, each one offering a different take while praising him for a "great job."

Normally, jumping through all those hoops signaled he had the job in the bag. Not this time. Steinberg was vacationing with his family in Aruba over the winter holiday when his agent e-mailed him that the studio picked another writer.

This ARTICLE is a bloody bummer.

It is a mild comfort that other screenwriters are suffering the same issues that I've been experiencing.

Ruffalo...

2010-07-15T10:43:00.002-04:00

H U L K ! ! !
You won't like Ed Norton when he's angry...

I Need You Tonight...

2010-07-14T23:04:00.000-04:00

Record Club: INXS "Need You Tonight" from Beck Hansen on Vimeo.

Taylor Lautner is NOT in "The Butcherhouse Chronicles"

2010-07-01T19:26:00.003-04:00

All right, folks, I wasn't going to post anything about this, but I feel compelled to now that a reporter actually asked Lautner about it.

"The Butcherhouse Chronicles" is based on a stage play that I wrote. Paramount bought the rights and hired me to write the initial screenplay adaptation. They brought on the boys at Platinum Dunes and Stephen Susco ("The Grudge") did a rewrite this past year.

Frank "Buff" Borin was attached to direct a few years ago, but he's moved on.

IMDB is filled with inaccuracies, especially for movies that are still in "development", and I have no idea how Lautner or Glee's Lea Michele got added to the cast of this project. The character names listed are not characters in the script, either. (If they *were* attached to the movie, I would guess that Lautner would be playing the character of "Kurt" and Michele would be playing "Honey".)

I asked one of my managers about it the other week and he was pretty sure it was nonsense. It'd be great if he were, but it's not happening right now.

Diana West Will Have Her Revenge

2010-06-18T00:00:00.005-04:00

A hint at (hopefully) one of my next projects.

I really do wish these deals didn't progress with such lethargy, but Hollywood is a big machine...

[Pictures culled from HERE]

And All Through the House

2010-05-27T00:57:00.001-04:00

The Trouble with Being a Screenwriter...

2010-05-19T00:32:00.002-04:00

Elmore Leonard:

“I stopped writing scripts in 1993." he said. "It was just too much work, and there were too many people you had to please. You’d go to an office, and there were always a couple of executives and producers, and they all had something to say. You [head] back to the hotel room, you’re looking at the wall. This was at a time when I needed the money, so I would adapt the scenes according to what they wanted. And the result would be a bad picture, or it wouldn’t be made. No more screenplays for me.”

Full article HERE.

IFC Short Films

2010-05-16T12:35:00.002-04:00

In the past few months, I saw two short films on IFC that struck me.

Curiously, they both happened to be co-written by David Michôd.

Who is David Michôd?

"Spider"
Written by Nash Edgerton & David Michôd
Directed by Nash Edgerton

"I Love Sarah Jane"
Written by Spencer Susser & David Michôd
Directed by Spencer Susser

Long Hard Road Out of Hell

2010-04-27T00:45:00.002-04:00

I find Jackie Earle Haley utterly fascinating to watch. I'm looking forward to seeing the Nightmare on Elm Street do-over because I'm so curious how Jackie's going to take ownership of such a classic horror icon. And because those Platinum Dunes boys are good people.

Some more news to write about soon, hopefully. I realize that this space can be an endless succession of promises like this but it's all going to pay off eventually. They say it's always darkest before the dawn but I have found that it is often darkest long before that dawn bleeds through. We just have to find a way to survive the night.

Boobquake Ever After

2010-04-26T23:59:00.002-04:00

If you don't know what BOOBQUAKE is, the truth is out there.

"The brainchild of blogger, Jen McCreight, Boobquake aims to disprove an Iranian prayer leader's recent assertion that immodesty causes earthquakes."

Of course, this just ended up supporting the cleric's insane claim when a 6.9 magnitude earthquake hit Taiwan.

The world is falling apart at the seams...

Persistence of Vision

2010-03-15T22:03:00.001-04:00

Nothing in this world can take the place of persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful people with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent.
—Calvin Coolidge

Zork Nuts

2010-03-01T00:00:00.003-05:00

Remember all the crazy themed cereals companies produced over the years? Take a trip down memory lane.

I made this fake cereal box for a Kotaku Photoshop contest. Banking on the probability that not a lot of kids would mine classic Infocom text adventures for inspiration. (Would they even be familiar with Infocom text adventures?)

I need to find out who owns the rights to some of those games. There are some great stories in there.

Don't Look Back in Anger

2010-02-10T00:00:00.002-05:00

I've lifted this from a VideoGum post. The Mirror Scare is truly a classic. Medicine cabinets close so quickly so they're great for hiding stuff for jump-scares... even though you really can't use the tactic anymore unless you twist it up or parody it because it's so well-known. (And well-parodied, really.)

Also check out Paul F. Tompkins's hilarious "Sink and the Mirror" bit.

Look Around You: Brain

2010-02-09T00:00:00.000-05:00

Look Around You!

Look Around You: Iron

2010-02-08T00:00:00.000-05:00

Look Around You: Music

2010-02-07T00:00:00.000-05:00

Look Around You: Sulphur

2010-02-06T00:00:00.000-05:00

Look Around You: Ghosts

2010-02-05T00:00:00.000-05:00

Look Around You: Germs

2010-02-04T00:00:00.001-05:00

Look Around You: Water

2010-02-03T00:00:00.000-05:00

Look Around You: Maths

2010-02-02T00:00:00.000-05:00

Look Around You: Calcium

2010-02-01T00:00:00.001-05:00

2010: The Year We Make Contact

2010-01-31T00:00:00.004-05:00

Making good on my determination not to go a whole month without posting something here. First post of 2010 and I wish I had some more official news to publish...

The "Sorrow" team has been meeting with directors...

There are several other projects I can't quite talk about, as there always is...

Continuing to work on an original piece called "Hayride" that promises to be a real scream...

I know that every year begins with the hope that "this is the year that all the hard work pays off"... but this REALLY IS THAT YEAR, dammit.

You may not believe me now, but you will.

(And if it doesn't happen, I can always go back and revise this entry.)

I've Started to Think About Leaving Tonight

2009-12-28T00:00:00.003-05:00

I do try not to go without posting something here at least once a month. If only for the show.

Staring down the close of this brutal year. Brutal decade, if you want to compartmentalize time like that. It was an education. Everyone needs to get taken to school.

Hopefully by the time anyone reads this, I'll have moved beyond this famine period.

What can I tell you, silent lurker?

I'm writing. Need to write. Writing is my only salvation. Need to get these stories out of my head and into the world.

Enough crypto-quotes? Can I be more oblique here?

Working on something original called "Hayride".

More to come in the new year. The game changes in the new year. For real.

Sorrow and Savagery

2009-11-06T19:51:00.003-05:00

The first press release regarding a project I've been developing with our blessed friends at Twisted Pictures is officially out. (This is the first press release that I've actually participated in, for the record.)

An adaptation of "SORROW", a graphic novel by Rick Remender, Seth Peck and Francesco Francavilla.

I've been developing a number of diverse projects beyond THE BUTCHERHOUSE CHRONICLES but this one is the first to go all public-like. (It's a curious business.)

Sooo... you don't know what "The Butcherhouse Chronicles" is, you're not familiar with "Sorrow" and you most certainly don't know who the hell *I* am... and yet you were curious enough to make your way to this remote corner of the internet.

You can pick up a copy of "SORROW" and get a good sense of the project, if the curiosity spurs you to that length. I'll safely say that even if you're familiar with the original graphic novel, the movie adaptation will have a fair amount of surprises. We're building upon the foundation that Remender/Peck/Francavilla set down and I'm personally excited about where we're going with this. That talented trio have created a really evocative piece and we're having a lot of fun with the playground they've built.

It's going to be really different. I know that Twisted Pictures is forever linked to the SAW franchise but this is nothing like SAW. The producers have been excellent to work with and they've been on board with what I've brought to the project. There are some great characters in this and I'm especially excited about the strong female protagonist.

I know that updates here are infrequent but more on this ASAP, I promise.

And (crossing fingers) more on the "Butcherhouse" adaptation, too...

Thanks for stopping by, Internet!

What is "The Butcherhouse Chronicles"?

2009-10-08T01:21:00.004-04:00

Invariably, whenever there's a press announcement concerning "The Butcherhouse Chronicles" movie, this blog encounters a spike of curious people looking for some information...

"The Butcherhouse Chronicles" was and *is* a deeply personal stage play that I started writing in April of 2003. My life was very different back then. I was getting ready to get married, locked into a dead-end job, trying to keep the dreams alive. I finished writing the first draft of the play about six months later, around October of 2003. Though I'd written a series of short pieces and one-acts, this was my first full-length stage play.

CUT TO a few years later, 2006. I'm getting a divorce, the play is staged at the Summer Play Festival and gets optioned by Paramount about a month after that festival production.

There's no shortage of snark on the internet. No way to really combat it. But this project is very near and dear to me.

No, it's not simply another "horror remake". It's an original stage play, conceived as a stage play, being adapted into a movie. A stage play designed to dismantle the archetypes of a typical slasher movie... which then had to be reverse-engineered into an actual slasher movie. Which is probably one of the reasons it's taken a little longer to get going than I would've wished.

I'm working on a lot of different projects but this is my breakthrough project. Everyone has to have a breakthrough project. Yes, it's a high-concept studio movie now, but it's also a deeply personal piece... at least at its origins.

The Grudge Chronicles

2009-10-07T09:39:00.002-04:00

My manager mentioned this to me a few weeks ago, but I guess the word's out today...

At this point, I'm just thankful the project is still alive after the shakeup at Paramount this year.

Take care of my baby, Susco.

The Jon Dore Television Show

2009-09-20T09:08:00.001-04:00

The Jon Dore Television Show appears on IFC.

Sorrow and Vengeance

2009-08-19T17:16:00.003-04:00

I could post with greater regularity here but it's always so difficult to know when I can talk about a project. I'm still at the infant stage of my career. My name may get attached to this or that, my work may get passed around the industry, but the public at large has no bloody idea who I am, what I've done, what I'm capable of. I'm just some fucking name that's attached to some project that may or may not sound "cool", depending on the prevailing graffiti written on the internet's bathroom walls.

Well, no one really knows about this place, so I guess it's not a big deal for me to talk a little...

Working on a few adaptations and specs right now. There's always one that looks most promising at any given time, based on all the given factors, and right now, for me, it's a graphic novel.

More to come sooner rather than later. I agree, it has been far too long. We have far too many places to go and people to see before the end.

That bitter, violent spectacle of an end...

For Elsie

2009-08-04T03:12:00.002-04:00

People arrive, people exit. No one ever stays in one place anymore. It may betray a heartbreakingly bleak outlook to suggest that I’m never sure who’s going to remain in my life. Who’s going to remain meaningful.

Jesus, it’s so easy for some people. They get married, raise families, none of it is a big deal. They know who’s going to be with them for the long haul. They know who to love. They know who to trust.

I can never tell what tomorrow will bring for me, or what it will take away.

So let me say this…

Everything I write and publish…

Every play or movie I can take some credit for…

… I dedicate to Elsie.

I may have different answers to the question of “Who is Elsie?” over the years. For now, since this is my first mention of her, I’ll say that she represents someone I will always care about. Come what may.

Underachievers Try Harder

2009-07-31T09:07:00.003-04:00

Endeavoring to do more in the final, coughing thrust of this year.

There's more that I could be doing. So much more.

So much potential... or so they used to say...

Bollocks. I've just got to get my head together and attack this methodically.

Hold Me Tight, Let Me Go

2009-07-30T16:49:00.003-04:00

July perishes and this year continues to whip by far too quickly.

This space has been fairly quiet, I know. So many things I'm trying to get off the ground, it's a time-consuming process.

I can't believe that August is upon us already. I've meant to post more this month but there've been more pressing things than navel-gazing. One day, we will look back on these dark times and have ourselves a good laugh at the ride we suffered.

Just wait for it.

While you're here...

Who Killed Bambi?

Freelancer's Life

2009-07-26T21:28:00.001-04:00

Like Tom Vu with Yachts & Mansions

2009-06-24T14:07:00.001-04:00

This isn't a Mr. Show sketch. It's a real commercial from the 1980s, boys and girls.

I want to know more about that "Butcher Mansion" that started Mr. Vu's career...

I like the bit where he takes a helicopter tour and makes it look like a business trip.

Wikipedia tells us that TOM VU *LIVES* and—in addition to being a real estate mogul and master bikini-girl pickup artist—is a poker champion.

God bless Tommy Vu and God bless the United States of America.

How I Could Just Kill a Man

2009-05-31T11:39:00.002-04:00

Nobody really, regularly reads this blog. And why should they? It is sporadically updated and not very often a fount of personal confession...

Who reads this, then? The randoms who might come across a mention of my work and decide to look me up. My reps, perhaps, occasionally, furtively. Producers, executives, assistants. Curiously. Ever so curiously.

Here's what you should know, ALL OF YOU:

I have officially, completely sacrificed any semblance of a proper single's social life in an effort to focus on all the projects that I may or may not be working on in the near future.

Not yet noon on a *gorgeous* Sunday on the Nor'east of AMERICA and I am holed up in my diminutive studio Fortress of Solitude on the Upper West Side of Manhattan, nursing an alcohol-infused refreshment as I hunker down and try to focus on three different projects. Generating notes on characters and plot. Prepping for a conference call I've got scheduled Monday night. And a storybeat outline for another project. And a "take document" for yet another project.

THESE STORIES ARE THE ENTIRE SUBSTANCE OF MY LIFE RIGHT NOW.

And what is my only release......?

INFAMOUS for the PS3.

You should know, however, that I have everything completely under control.

More when more warrants...

AntiMAX

2009-05-12T16:35:00.000-04:00

When is IMAX *not* IMAX...?

When it's the "IMAX" at the AMC Empire 25 on 42nd Street in NYC.

Don't get me wrong, it's a pretty big screen.

But it's NOT the insanely big IMAX at the AMC Loews Lincoln Square 13 on 68th & Broadway.

And if you're going to pay $17.50 for a fucking IMAX movie ticket, you should probably go to the truly massive IMAX theater on 68th Street as opposed to the bare-minimum IMAX theater on 42nd Street.

I'm just saying. It's a lot of money.

A rant from Aziz Ansari explaining things further here.

Detailed article from the LF Examiner.

Consider this your last warning.

The Future is Beneath Us

2009-05-04T20:48:00.003-04:00

"God" love them, the MTA has a new propaganda campaign about the revitalization of the city's infrastructure that I caught wind of tonight, via a subway advert.

"THE FUTURE BENEATH US!!!"

"... mega underground infrastructure projects that will dramatically change how we move around New York...!"

Perfectly... serendipitous... in relation to one of the projects I've been toiling over, which takes place in New York City... where the infrastructure is notably ancient...

More on this—and other things—when I'm @ liberty, of course...

Bret Easton Ellis

2009-04-29T00:00:00.002-04:00

From a really interesting interview with Bret Easton Ellis at the A.V. Club:

I learned that you really don’t have any control as a writer. Waah, waah, waah. [Laughs.] Big deal. Unless you’re the director on the movie, or putting up the money for the movie, you really don’t have a lot of control. As someone who’s just writing scripts, you just kind of have to shrug. I have no problems or issues with screenwriting in general. It is what it is. It seems that I’ve had some issues about this particular project. I think it stems from the fact that I’m much more sensitive because it’s based on a book of mine. And also, it is the first script I’ve written that has actually made it to the screen. I’m very touchy about it. Someone told me yesterday, “Oh, you know, it’s on the ’net that you really hate The Informers,and you’re really down on it.” And I had to look this thing up. The headline was, “Does Bret Easton Ellis hate The Informers?” Because of some online interview I did, there’s this suggestion that I’m not truly happy with the movie. But no, that’s not true at all. I’m friendly with Gregor and the producers and…

I’m getting off the topic. You asked me what did I learn about my screenwriting? Nothing. [Laughs.] I didn’t really learn anything at all. I learned that if you want to do it, you should do it and be polite.

Blood Spattered Teaser

2009-04-28T21:42:00.001-04:00

They really knew how to sell a movie back in the day...

No Matter What

2009-04-15T00:12:00.001-04:00

Come sit down beside me
I said to myself
and although it doesn't make sense
I held my own hand
As a small sign of trust
And together I sat on the fence....
Michael Leunig

It's Alive!!!

2009-04-11T12:31:00.001-04:00

They just don't make movie teasers as properly as they used to...

The Butcherhouse Chronicles LIVE SHOW

2009-03-30T11:18:00.002-04:00

The latest SPF mailer features a (rather prominent) production pic of the original Butcherhouse Chronicles SPF show from July '06. The caption properly credits the featured cast (Matt Doyle, Anna Chlumsky & Todd Cerveris) and the name of the play... but somehow omits the name of the writer!

It's not just about me, though. All the production pics featured in the mailer credit the featured actors and corresponding plays but leave out the writers' names. I can only imagine this was some design overlook since the Summer Play Festival exists to promote the emerging writers.

The play version is still in a state of tinkering on my part, delayed a bit by the juggling of film projects. SPF is designed to help launch theater careers, so I'm a bit of an anomaly so far. But there are more plays I intend to get out of my system.

And yes, I do hope we get to bring BUTCHERHOUSE to the stage again so that more people can see it. It's such a different beast than the film version. I like that they have different lives.

Where the Wild Things Are

2009-03-25T15:38:00.000-04:00

Revenge of the Butcherhouse Chronicles

2009-03-20T23:15:00.003-04:00

O!, the things I could and should be doing other than updating this peculiar blog on a Friday night in Manhattan. But the timing feels right for a more proper update.

Learned a new acronym today, courtesy of my manager:

O.D.A.

Opening Directing Assignment

It seems The Script is out about The Town again, floating through the various agencies. This blog gets a small bump whenever that happens. Curious GOOGLErs, I imagine, looking to dig a bit deeper.

It's a comfort to be in New York City. Apart from the hoopla. Holed up in my own private Fortress of Solitude. (A tomb of a studio on the Upper West Side.) Whatever I need to hear, filtered through the sieve of reps.

I'm cautious about what I post here. Suffice it to say, I do hope the pieces fall into place with this project soon. There are a number of other things I'm working on, but this one's my baby. My adorably horrifying baby.

In Defense of the Modern Horror

2009-03-15T10:13:00.004-04:00

Adam Gierasch wrote this great blog entry about the business of modern horror movie remakes.

Read it.

Hey, the internet's great. Don't get me wrong, I can't get enough of it. It's reshaped the way the world works. But it's also created a lot of noise.

Despite the glut of snarky, crotchety comments and articles bemoaning them on the internet, horror remakes/adaptations are NOT a sign of the apocalypse.

Jonas Brothers 3D, however...

They Just Thought I'd Know Better

2009-03-14T21:15:00.002-04:00

Compelling cover by this bloke from Orlando.

Sorry for the holding patterns here. Patience.

Happened So Fast

2009-03-08T08:38:00.000-04:00

Just What I Needed

2009-03-07T02:35:00.002-05:00

99 Luft Problems

2009-03-06T20:33:00.000-05:00

Please Stand By

2009-02-23T00:00:00.001-05:00

The Bravest Warriors

2009-02-19T14:23:00.000-05:00

Kim's Video

2009-02-10T00:50:00.002-05:00

Kim's Video was the most amazing video store ever. When I was at NYU, it was the only place you wanted to go to rent movies because they had the sickest collection.

And then, videotape died.

Over the years, Mr. Kim, now in his late 40s, built a staff that traveled the world scouring for additional titles — the only way to find obscure films in the pre-Internet age. By 2008, the collection had swelled to 55,000 eclectic works, many impossible to find anywhere else.

Then the world changed.

The Internet had spawned Netflix, the elimination of late fees and no-effort rentals. The Internet also distracted consumers, stealing hours they might once have spent reveling in movies...

At the store’s peak in the 1990s, more than 200,000 people were listed in Kim’s database, but by the end of last year, only about 1,500 of them were considered active members...

“Kim’s was the cutting-edge; that was always the business concept,” Mr. Kim said the other day in one of a series of conversations about the fate of his video collection. “But ironically, I didn’t prepare.”

Last September, in a move that swept through the Internet at viral speed, he issued a public challenge. In a notice pasted on a wall inside the front door, he wrote, “We hope to find a sponsor who can make this collection available to those who have loved Kim’s over the past two decades.” He promised to donate all the films without charge to anyone who would meet three conditions: Keep the collection intact, continue to update it and make it accessible to Kim’s members and others...

Time to renew your passports.

Battlestar Revolution

2009-02-09T00:00:00.005-05:00

I'm getting into the "reimagined" Battlestar Galactica very late into the game, thankyouverymuch, trying to catch up in time to watch the final episodes on air.

Back in 2005, John Hodgman wrote this fascinating article tracing the journey of reviving Battlestar, including original star Richard Hatch's long and expensive campaign to revive it himself. With all the acclaim the new series has received during its run, it's interesting to see how much "fan-controversy" it generated during its original production.

If you know the show, of course, you know that Richard Hatch was eventually persuaded to accept a recurring character role.

He said it was sort of like falling in love with another man's wife. ''Eventually you had to realize she's married. And not to me.''

That's got to hurt. Hatch worked so hard and sunk so much of his own money into trying to get a new series off the ground... it's sad to think about. It's a rough business. The development process can be so convoluted, I think it's amazing anything gets into production.

Since Hatch has been on the new show, I was curious why the original "Starbuck" hasn't been on. The Internet has now clarified that.

Damage Control

2009-02-08T03:06:00.004-05:00

Christian Bale expresses his remorse.

Parodies, remixes, mashups, a full course of media circus analysis. And now, it's over. These stories get processed so quickly these days.

Colbert as Batman

2009-02-06T15:37:00.000-05:00

The Colbert ReportMon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c

Stephen Verbally Thrashes Steve Martin

Colbert Report Full Episodes
Paul McCartney Appearance

Funny Political Videos
More Funny Videos

This is better'n anything on Steve Martin's recent SNL show.

British Psycho

2009-02-04T06:47:00.001-05:00

I could listen to this for days.

Birthday Post

2009-01-08T13:20:00.001-05:00

For all the old-school gamers out there. I was particularly moved by the Alex Kidd reference.

Some better times ahead this year. I'll let you know when they're clearer.

hard times

2008-12-31T00:04:00.004-05:00

It has been a long dark journey.

This has been a trying year, on so many levels. And to put it mildly, it is not ending with a clear sense of victory. At best, it's a cliffhanger.

I'm still here, though. Still fighting.

Strength in the new year. There are better times ahead.

It is pitch dark now. But there are faint points of light in the distance. They'll be here soon enough.

Savages

2008-11-28T11:19:00.003-05:00

Black Friday stampede kills WalMart worker, pregnant woman miscarries...

Really, America? Really...??

This is Sewious!!!

2008-11-27T00:02:00.000-05:00

What's gonna work???

(Hint: teamwork.)

Requiem for McCain

2008-11-26T00:01:00.000-05:00

John McCain ran one of the most incompetent, schizo campaigns in history - and smashed the GOP to pieces.

Election night at the Biltmore in Arizona is a hilariously dismal scene, like a funeral for a family member nobody liked, who died owing everyone money. The rats here are already bailing off the ship with lightning speed, like L.A. Dodgers fans leaving a playoff game to catch the latest episode of Entourage. The exodus, in fact, begins about eight seconds into John McCain's concession speech, which incidentally starts off on the classiest of notes: with the remaining crowd cursing the name of the new president...

Rolling Stone takes a look at the big finale of the McCain/Palin campaign. Check it out.

Guns N' Dragons

2008-11-25T00:00:00.001-05:00

At long last...

On shelves...

Owned...

Inked...
I must say, BEST BUY's peculiar lack of fanfare in supporting this album is somewhat aggravating to me. After all these years. But at least the album's out there. At long last.

I'm Feeling Really, Really, Ever So Not Well!

2008-11-24T00:01:00.002-05:00

Charlie and Lola keep the state of a new generation of children's television... very well indeed.

Period point blank.

In Idaho, Everything is Fine

2008-11-21T00:03:00.001-05:00

"In our district there was an isolated instance of children making regrettable and unacceptable remarks in regards to harming President-elect Obama," [Superintendent Geoffrey] Thomas wrote in a letter to parents Monday. "Word of this behavior leaked out to a hyperactive media and bloggers which in turn distorted way out of proportion the comments that were made, painting the entire community with the same negative brush."

Hyperactive bloggers, huh? Can I join in the virtual finger-wagging?

I guess a bunch of 2nd and 3rd graders, in a school bus in Eastern Idaho, were chanting "Assassinate Obama" after the November 4th election.

Read about the small town mayor's public apology.

How did I miss this story?!?

MTA Hell

2008-11-20T00:00:00.003-05:00

The MTA reportedly is ready to make deep cuts in its budget that could lead to reduced service, layoffs and more crowded trains. Sources tell CBS 2 the association board is preparing a worst case "Doomsday" scenario that will be presented during its monthly meeting on Thursday...

During the Thursday meeting, The MTA is expected to: completely do away with the "W" line, which runs from Queens to Manhattan, and the "Z" line, which runs through Queens, Brooklyn and Manhattan. Also on the chopping block: service will be cut in half on the "G" line, which runs from Queens to Brooklyn; and the "M" line, which runs through Brooklyn, Manhattan, and Queens.

This is potentially so fucked up, I don't even know where to begin with this!

Hard Bargain

2008-11-19T00:00:00.002-05:00

Attractive Girls Union Refuses To Enter Into Talks With Mike Greenman

The AGU are nearly impossible to negotiate with. (They've got a sweetheart deal with the Douchebags League that is hard to get around.)

Maddow

2008-11-18T00:03:00.002-05:00

I got totally hooked on MSNBC during the election.

Check out these videos of rising-star Rachel Maddow before she got her very own show.

Season of the Witch

2008-11-17T00:04:00.002-05:00

And now, because it's November 17th, I think it's time to have a timely Halloween entry.

This was for a party on November 1st. Nothing like dressing up in costumes the night after Halloween...

My good friend Cicely with one of the best costumes ever.

Ben in unabomber getup.

Lila as The Ring girl, and/or Princess Leia.

God damn it. November 17th. Can that be fucking right? Where are we?

This week and next week. These are the days we need the world to open up.

Chinese Democracy: FOUR STARS

2008-11-14T00:01:00.000-05:00

Sure. Agreed. I am drunk as I write this entry, but that is neither here *nor* there...

The point I am trying to make here is that Rolling Stone has written up its FOUR STAR REVIEW OF CHINESE DEMOCRACY...

Let's get right to it: The first Guns n' Roses album of new, original songs since the first Bush administration is a great, audacious, unhinged and uncompromising hard-rock record...

To be sold exclusively at Best Buy on Sunday, November 23rd, 2008.

I've been waiting for this motherfucker for so long, I may actually have to get a tattoo to commemorate this occasion.

South Park Election Episode

2008-11-13T00:01:00.000-05:00

"You can't really get ready for the moment a black man is elected president. That's just crazy and kind of trippy. So yeah, we put it all on black by producing the Obama episode but I mean…the whole wheel was pretty black except for maybe one red. It was a highly slanted board."
—Matt Stone, co-creator of South Park

Great interview with Matt Stone on how they pulled off an animated election episode of South Park that aired the day after the general election. I'm a grand fan of the show, but I've found some of their political/message episodes to be a bit insulting/obnoxious/wrong. Surprisingly, Stone comments on some of the erroneous perceptions of the show in regards to this.

Murder in the Age of Social Networking

2008-11-12T00:00:00.002-05:00

And in grisly news...

A husband who hacked his wife to death with a meat cleaver in fury over her Facebook entry was jailed for a minimum of 14 years at the Old Bailey today....

The couple had separated four days before the murder in February and Forrester later told police he had been provoked by his wife changing her marital status to "single" on her Facebook entry, the court heard.

It may be misleading/incriminating to state that I can relate to this... but the seemingly innocuous world of social networking sites creates complicated new paradigms. You've got this virtual web of connections that you're constantly communicating with, even if you're not active. Change one small thing—like "relationship status"—and it's an immediate all-points-bulletin.

Caveat emptor.

Synecdoche

2008-11-11T00:01:00.002-05:00

Probably most screenwriters are fairly jealous of Charlie Kaufman. As a screenwriter, he commands the respect usually reserved for playwrights. Whatever that means.

I haven't seen his directorial debut yet, but here's an interview with him, in case you've missed.

The Demise of Drudge

2008-11-10T00:00:00.002-05:00

The internet's a fickle bitch, all right...

Matt Drudge used all the might of his large FONT SIZES and SCARY RED HEXIDECIMAL COLORS to try to drag Obama down and drum up a fictional McCain comeback narrative in the weeks leading up the election, but alas all that digital froth led to bupkis.

Gawker laid it out last week...

Near Flawless

2008-11-07T00:01:00.001-05:00

NYT article on Obama's tight campaign:

... the McCain campaign team often seemed to make missteps and lurch from moment to moment in search of a consistent strategy and message, while the disciplined and nimble Obama team marched through a presidential contest of historic intensity learning to exploit opponents’ weaknesses and making remarkably few stumbles.

Cock-Shittingly Good

2008-11-06T00:01:00.001-05:00

A video Louis CK made the day before the election. I know, it's a wee bit late, but it made me laugh.

Champion

2008-11-05T09:16:00.002-05:00

We won.

Jesus fucking Christ, what a relief...

You know what's even more amazing? Barack Obama took the time to send me a personal email RIGHT BEFORE he went out to give his acceptance speech! No shit! He used my first name and everything! Check it out:

Michael --

I'm about to head to Grant Park to talk to everyone gathered there, but I wanted to write to you first.

We just made history.

And I don't want you to forget how we did it.

You made history every single day during this campaign -- every day you knocked on doors, made a donation, or talked to your family, friends, and neighbors about why you believe it's time for change.

I want to thank all of you who gave your time, talent, and passion to this campaign.

We have a lot of work to do to get our country back on track, and I'll be in touch soon about what comes next.

But I want to be very clear about one thing...

All of this happened because of you.

Thank you,

Barack

That's what I call classy.

Vote Often

2008-11-04T00:00:00.004-05:00

McCain's at his lowest win-scenario percentage. Granted, I'm composing this early in the evening on Monday night, but 538 has been analyzing this carefully. And I go with them because they offer the maximum encouragement.

Um... don't forget to vote... for Barack Obama. That's who we like. The royal "we".

Let's make this happen.

See more funny videos at Funny or Die

And then... there are some other things I've got to get done this month... I'll let you know about them. Appy-polly-geez for the lack of concrete personal/professional info here. I'm working on things; things are happening. You've got to trust me.

The Day Before Tomorrow

2008-11-03T01:12:00.002-05:00

I'm glued to fivethirtyeight.com and MSNBC.

Don't screw the pooch again, America.